It’s been revealed that millions of Britons on Facebook are now experts in neuroscience.
The revelation comes just weeks after millions of people were found to be experts in toxicology and analytical chemistry.
Millions of people like Reiki expert Stan Still from Rochdale who, failed GCSE Biology. Stan says he is now more knowledgeable than any Professor who has spent decades studying neuroscience.
Stan told us, “Well, I read an article in a newspaper that said that loads of specialists don’t know what they’re talking about. It matched my own views perfectly. My doctor is always telling me to stop smoking because you can develop cancer. I haven’t developed it yet so what does he know?”
Accordion factory manager Bill Board said, “You shouldn’t listen to experts. I did my own research which mostly involved googling sites whose information closely matched my own opinions. It’s elitist to say my opinion isn’t as worthy as the opinions of doctors and professors who have spent their lives studying neuroscience. They don’t know what they’re talking about and I do.”
Ex-army chef Matt Walsh said, “I served my country. I was killed 6 times in Iraq. That definitely means my opinions on neuroscience should be listened to. Once one of them doctors has died 7 times in Iraq then his opinion is the same as mine. Plus, I’ve got neuroscience training. Well I’ve got a certificate from an unaccredited university that I paid 70 quid for.”
It’s understood that all of these new experts will now be given honorary degrees by the world’s foremost neuroscience expert, Paul Nuttall.
