Hollywood inside and outsiders were elated today at the news that all round democratic legend and soothsayer Nigel Farage has been cast to play wooden boy turned real child Pinocchio in the reboot of the Disney classic.
Arron Banks is tipped to direct in his feature debut having amassed an impressive CV of smaller films targeted at indie audiences. The step up to a Disney production is unbelievable.
The Rochdale Herald’s ‘Wannabe Fascists on Film’ correspondent spoke to someone claiming to be an aide to Mr Banks earlier today for a scoop,
“Arron is overjoyed to have landed such a plumb debut. Although it’s not confirmed yet.” Mr Ray Cyst stated. “He’s long had an eye on directing a major motion picture. He was intending to just re-shoot all of Leni Riefenstahl’s classics from the first half of the twentieth century, but this will be a challenge.”
It’s thought Banks has attached himself to the project out of the thrill at challenging Nigel to extend his range.
“Nigel may initially find it an effort to deliberately lie. But he’s a method actor. He’s famous for immersing himself in real life experiences to get the emotional experience necessary for his next performance.”
Indeed, everyone is already aware of Nigel’s tireless efforts to understand the life of British fisherfolk by joining the EU’s fishery committee.
“Watching Nigel prepare for the role is going to be just as thrilling as when he dons the short trousers and begins to lie through his tar stained teeth.”
For his part Nigel Farage is said to have taken the role out of a concern for what age is doing to the relative length of his nose in relation to his face.
“Might as well put my experience to good use.” He stated on his much loved LBC show. “If I can’t get that nose to extend just by opening my flipping mouth then no one can.”
