Jeremy Corbyn attended the Glastonbury festival today to deliver a speech to a crowd of thousands.
The MP, short for the Messiah of the People, spoke to the crowd about the rights and responsibilities of all men and gave hope for a better future at one point saying “blessed be the Marx, for they shall inherit the earth.”
Much to the approval of dreadlocked students and those wearing momentum shirts.
“His sermon on the mounted platform was inspirational. He’s offering an eternal paradise for all those that follow him.”
Said Zack, a Corbynista, who had rushed to follow Corbyn after the speech, to try and get a selfy.
“He’s been practically unknown fiddling around with benches somewhere in the back for the past 30 years, he’s got a beard and his initials are J C. Coincidence? I think not.”
Zack suddenly bent down to pull a welly free from the mud, he then held it above his head and cried.
“Oh my God! Its his welly! It’s a sign that we should likewise lose a welly to the mud”
Before running off in the direction of the Pyramid stage.
Despite the adoring chants of “Praise The Left” from the crowd, there was some criticism from the back of the field.Terrance Hanlon, a rather large nosed man asked “what have the cheesemakers ever done for me?”
We also spoke to Howard Pendleton, a disgruntled Tory voter walking away from the main stage area.
“I’ve had enough listening to him preach. How dare Corbyn proverbially flip over the money lenders tables. My mummy and papa are bankers and they’ve done more for people than any red flag waving barista.”
“I’m going back to my glaming pod before I’m stoned to death for blasphemy against Tony Benn.”
