An arsehole died on Saturday in an avalanche of karma whilst trying to piss off and murder a massive angry bull in front of a large crowd of idiots.
The rebalancing of the universe took place in the French town of Aire-sur-l’Adour during a bullfighting festival when the world famous utter arsehole and matador Ivan Fandino tripped on his cloak and was gored to death by a gigantic wounded bull.
Ivan was the reason the bull was wounded and angry.
This is the second and last time that the sadist and animal torturer Ivan Fandino has been gored by a pissed off bull since 2015 when he was thrown into the air by a bull in Pamplona, unfortunately for several hundred bulls he wasn’t mortally wounded during that incident.
Several Reiki practitioners were called to try to rebalance Señor Fandino’s chi but he simply had too much really terrible karma to be worth the bother. After seeing his Aura, which was a murky grey/blue/green colour Reiki practitioner Shami Chakkra told The Herald.
“I took one look at this guy’s karma and decided I really can’t be arsed with this, he’s not worth my time. Besides I didn’t have the right crystals with me.”
“Anyway crystals are no good for a perforated lung, you really need a chiropractor or a homeopath to sort out that kind of injury.”
Surprisingly Bullfighting has been legal in France since 2012 and about 1,000 bulls have been senselessly tortured and murdered by arseholes in spangly jackets carrying swords since then.
“Our thoughts and prayers are with the family of the bull.”
