Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee.
It’s a move aimed to underline her administration’s reputation for consistency.
It’s hoped with Davis in control the government will get ahead of a worrying curve where it appears unprepared to handle events.
Davis will have to choose quickly where to focus precious resources.
An aide to the Secretary of State released the following statement,
“David Davis has compiled a list of potential natural and government inspired calamities and will choose which one we face next.
This will be done no later than tomorrow evening, before he begins Brexit negotiations.”
Critics of the government have pointed out that Davis is in the process of creating the next calamity already as head of the Department for Exiting the EU. That this is just duplication.
But the aide defended Davis,
“We have to cover War, Famine, Pestilence and Death to be an effective Conservative government.”
War is a given from trade policy and the unwillingness to fully support renewable energy.
Famine has been created with sweeping changes to the benefit system.
Death is certain.
“We really just have to figure out how we’re going to get Pestilence involved. We’re hoping the current heat wave will assist by giving the entire nation the shits with poorly cooked BBQ foods.”
A spokesman for the EU offered encouragement,
“Brexit is going to be a plague on all our houses. We have total confidence in the ability of Davis to see this to fruition. You should enjoy yourselves today. We’re meeting Davis on Monday.”
