Amid all the depressing news at the moment, spirits of Londoners have been lifted by some entertainment news. Tony Blair has announced he will be bank rolling a new fantasy theme park dedicated wholly to the fictional superhero “Tony Blair”.
“The world is under threat again, this time from a paralysed Brexit leader and Corbyn the evil Clown. Amid all the turmoil, cometh the moment cometh the man and that man is Tony Blair.”
Tony Blair told our reporter. He continued;
“After I saved the Labour Party and the country from the corrupt Tories I had to save the world from the evil madman Sadam Hussein of Iraq. Everyone remembers how we stopped his weapons of mass destruction that were poised 45 mins from annihilating the gardens of Middle England.”
When we pointed out there were no WMD, he replied,
“And that shows the efficacy of our policy. Look, if we’d have invaded Iran and Egypt we would’ve stopped ISIS too. Just think how bad the state of the Middle East would be now if I hadn’t been peace envoy there!”
We asked him to tell us a little about his new pet project;
“So let’s talk Blair World, it will feature a golden statue of Tony in a cape snapping a rocket with his bare hands. Entrance will be £75 and my team are in talks with a Chinese nuclear power provider to sponsor me to give up my time up for £1 million-a-pop talks there.”
Responses from Londoners have been unmixed, with all of them telling us it is the funniest thing they have heard this month. One Londoner said;
“Now we’ll know where that lying c**t is, I’ll be taking a box of rotten tomatoes and eggs with me when I go there.”
