World famous rap star Eminem has revealed how he recently purchased a storage unit full of broken IKEA furniture for $24M, purely by accident!
Marshall Mathers (aka Eminem), (aka Slim Shady), (aka Chikka, chikka, Slim Shady) and close friend and fellow star, Dr Dre happened to stumble upon filming of a new series of “Storage Hunters” during a short walk from their Los Angeles recording studio to a nearby Starbucks.
“Me and my homeboy, Dre, ya know? We was just strollin’ along, when we sees and hears a whole load o’ commotion across the street. There was cameras and boom mics and everything”, said Eminem.
“We’ll, me and Dre, yeah? We shuffle on over there to see what was cookin’ and from what we could tell, there was some sorta old folks amateur battle rap thing goin’ down and this bald, middle aged dude yeah? He was spitting bars and rhymes at this bunch of hicks and fatties an’ stuff like nothin’ you ever seen in your life – so me and Dre thinks we’d better get stuck in with a bit of freestylin’ b’coz that group of old folks he was giving it to, yeah? Well they didn’t stand a motherfuckin’ chance”.
Eminem and Dr Dre subsequently muscled in on the action and started dissin’ Storage Hunters auctioneer,
Sean Kelly in a lyrical manner which could easily have worked well as a scene from Eminem’s 2002 film, 8 mile.
“I was just standing there auctioning off a unit which appeared to contain goods of very little value” said auctioneer Sean Kelly, “then all of a sudden, a couple dudes push right to the front and start sounding off at me”, he continued.
“At first, I thought they were disrespecting me, but it was very difficult to work out what they were saying because they were saying stuff faster than me! It wasn’t until they started waving and flailing their arms about, that I realised these dudes were battling it out against each other to buy the unit”.
Sean went on to tell us how bidding had only reached $75 before the pair showed up, but all that soon changed.
“We couldn’t believe it”, said Storage Hunter regulars, Barndon and Lori. “We thought they must’ve seen something in there which missed our eye and was worth an absolute fortune. We managed to keep with the bidding until $25,000, but that was it for us. That was all the money we had”.
Another well known face from the popular series, known as ‘T Money’ said, “I dunno what them homies see in there. All I see was a pile of cheap ass, broke furniture and not much else at all, so I weren’t even biddin’ on dat shit”.
The auction finally came to a close in the early hours of the morning when a concerned neighbour phoned 911 to report all the noise and that also, at least 2 African Americans were present.
Overweight and over armed LAPD officers soon surrounded the area and swooped in to break the whole thing up, without opening fire on any black people whatsoever.
It was at that point, Eminem, Dr Dre and Sean realised the mix up and that “Em” had notched the bidding up to a Storage Hunters world record of $23,875,000 – which Mr Mathers is now legally obliged to pay.
Fans and viewers of Storage Hunters can expect to see all the action unfold on their televisions later this year when the new series is aired on UK channel, “DAVE” and also, in a special “bloopers” episode.
Unfortunately, we didn’t get Andre Romelle Young’s version of events.
We forgot about Dre.
