Heavily trapped shoulders shrugged a sigh of relief today as justice was served to a rogue Crossfitter who failed to tell every single person he ever encountered that he does Crossfit.
Steven Night, who lists himself as an IT consultant and Crossfit “athlete” on his Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat, Google+, LinkedIn, Instagram, MySpace, Bebo, Tumblr, Flickr, Foursquare and Friends Reunited pages, was travelling to Koh Samui for a holiday at The Tong Sai Bay Resort when complaints began to emerge.
At least 17 people of the 538 passengers aboard the Emirates Airbus A380 complained that Steven didn’t tell them personally that he was a Crossfitter and a further three had to merely overhear the health benefits of the Paleo Diet as opposed to being given the standard twenty five minute Crossfit HQ issued PowerPoint presentation.
“It was quite insulting.” Tim Day from Milnrow told us. “There I was eating peanuts only to hear Steven telling someone else they’re legumes and probably cause cancer. Why didn’t he tell me personally? Does he want me to catch cancer?”
Steven was unavailable for comment because he was out of breath from doing something obscene with somebody called Fat Fran though Crossfit HQ told The Herald;
“It’s cult, I mean Crossfit, policy that everybody talks about Crossfit all the time otherwise how will our cult, err, I mean brand grow. I mean you don’t see Vegans, Catholics and Scientologists going around not talking about being Vegans, Catholics and Scientologists all the time do you?”
