Reports are coming in that a man ironically mauled to death by a polar bear in Northwich town centre was prominent leave voter and climate change denier Aaron Banks.
The attack comes only days after Mr Banks joked that he hoped that earnest child and environmental campaigner Greta Thunberg would die in a yachting accident on her way to give a speech about global warming in New York.
A spokesman for Northwich police told The Rochdale Herald “we can confirm that a man has been completely eaten by a polar bear in Northwich town centre yesterday.”
“It seems that melting arctic ice has meant that the polar bear was forced to migrate all the way to a suburb of Northwich in Cheshire. It’s quite a long swim, he was pretty hungry and desperate by the time he got here.”
“It seems he pounced on Aaron Banks while he was getting out of his Jaguar, physically Mr Banks’s silhouette was indistinguishable from a fat seal or a walrus. It was a simple case of mistaken identity.”
“Fortunately quick thinking members of the public were able to get the poor bear to a local vets who were able to pump his stomach and administer a massive dose of Rennie’s for the indigestion.”
“He’s expected to make a full recovery.”
