A survey carried out by the Herald shows Britons are increasingly of the opinion that lying by a pool in the warm sun and having a range of alcoholic beverages on tap, is by far a better holiday experience than abseiling down a 200 meter cliff.
Local man Martin Collins, a married accountant and father of 2, has just been on a family adventure holiday in Mid-Wales.
“The first part of the adventure was finding the place. The Sat-nav didn’t like that many consonants in a row and blew up. 5 hours in a car to find a converted pig shed as our base.Then 5 days basically being cold and wet while a horribly buff, bearded mountain man chirpily tells you jumping in a river is fun is not why I put up with the drudgery of my job. I want to see the sun, I want to palm my dreadful kids off on the activities rep while I pretend to be exotic under a pool umbrella and order Daiquiris til I’m blind.”
Collins added “From now on If you have to pack clothing types for 3 seasons for the holiday, I’m not going.”
It seems that while people are keen to support British tourism on weekends, when they have longer periods of holiday the charms of places like Great Yarmouth rapidly wear thin. Emma Hammond from Milnrow says;
“You can only see so many drunk fat blokes in ‘Kiss me Quick’ hats before genocide seems like a viable option. It’s not a holiday unless you’re drunkenly jumping off a party boat into an azure sea just so the burly deckhand can rescue you.”
Another respondent to our survey who asked to remain nameless says of a recent holiday to Centerparcs, “I spent £700 to live in a shed in a wet forest in Cumbria for a few days, literally surrounded by other people’s children as well as your own. I am the very definition of stupid. I tried to drink heavily to blank out the horror but a pint of Stella bankrupted me.”
