In a rare public outburst Jesus H Christ has taken to social media to call Jacob Rees-Mogg a “complete twat.”
Speaking from his spaceship’s jacuzzi moored off the coast of Cloud Cuckoo Land Jesus H Christ (35) explained that Catholics were generally not on his Christmas Card list.
“Catholics are generally not on my Christmas Card list.” He explained “I don’t know how many kids their priests have to rape before these fuckwits stop giving them money.”
“It’s a real shame I’m imaginary and not an actual god or there would be some proper smiting going down.”
The 16th century left footed throwback Rees-Mogg told interviewers earlier this week that rape victims, including young children raped by their fathers and uncles, should be forced to carry their babies to term saying “it’s what Jesus would have wanted.”
“Let’s be clear, it’s not what I would have wanted. As a fictional free-love hippy I would have been pro-contraception and totally into letting women have autonomy over their own bodies.
Even Donald Trump thinks children who have been raped should be allowed to have an abortion. I mean come on man. Peace man.”
The star of the 35AD Sitcom, The New Testament, is reportedly “a bit cross” to have been dragged into yet another abortion argument by another religious crackpot.
“It’s just mental, I genuinely have never ever given anybody the impression that raped children shouldn’t be allowed an abortion. Back when we were on air abortions weren’t available on the Roman Health Service.
The man’s a twat.”
