Russian intelligence leaked today reveal that current and soon to be impeached American president Donald Trump has a very suspicious past.
“We look into all our allies,” said Sergi Vasilev, former KGB killer and advisor to Russian President Dobby Putin, “and we discover zat Donald Trump used to be that pink, spotty, rubber twat on evil British propaganda organ, Noel’s House Party.”
The Whitehouse immediately denied that Donald Trump and Mr Blobby are one in the same, describing the revelations as fake news.
However, shortly after President Trump himself tweeted:
“Blobby blobby blobbeeeeeeee! Hillary’s emails! Blobby blobby blobby terrorism! Blobby Muslims! Blobby blobby! Bad!”
Why the pink buffoon decided to be an perma-tanned buffoon is still unknown but at least his skin will go nicely with the orange jumpsuit that most people see in his future.
Noel Edmonds refused to comment on the subject and was anyway too busy promoting pseudo-scientific nonsense to cancer victims.
Rumours that the original title of Mr Trump’s awful book was The Art of the deal or No Deal are still unconfirmed.
