Newt Hump, one of the World’s foremost “Fake News” journalists has shockingly admitted that he hasn’t been making it up.
“I never intended it” he told the Rochdale Herald. “It was the pressure. The pressure to turn out stories”
He told the Herald that, at first, he simply slipped in a couple of true stories “It was easy and it didn’t feel wrong” Newt said. “I would just cut and paste something off the BBC website and then just put ‘knob’ or ‘twat’ in the text and nobody seemed to notice – I got the clicks and everything was OK.”
But things turned bad. It wasn’t enough for Hump. “I needed more. That’s when I started copying stories out of The Rochdale Herald!”
He came clean and has promised to carry on doing it as it is way, way easier than doing his own work. “I have never been happier” Newt told us “this is fucking genius – keep it up Roch lads….I haven’t been to work for a month, suckers!!!!”
Lawyers for the Herald, Messers Soo, Grabbit & Runne have been informed but apparently we owe them money and they won’t do anything until we pay up.
