A man who enjoys character assassinating every person he encounters and then tries to excuse himself of any malice by saying ‘I’m not being funny, but…’ is definitely being funny, it has been confirmed.
Friends of Ryan Bibble admitted he enjoys nothing than dishing out sass to people behind their backs about a myriad of things that don’t remotely concern him, from appearances to how much money they earn, and that as long as he qualifies the start of his diatribe with ‘I’m not being funny, but’ then it somehow gives him carte blanche to be a hideously opinionated twat.
Although ‘friends’ clarified that Bibble is not remotely funny in the literal sense, as he is an arse-crushingly boring dullard with no sense of humour, who’s ultimate goal in life is to be retweeted by someone off TOWIE, Bibble himself confirmed that in the modern vernacular, ‘I’m not being funny’ is essentially a bi-phrase for ‘I’m not being an insufferable, opinionated dick’, which again, is also a lie when applied to him.
‘I’m not being funny mate, but it’s 2019, funny no longer necessarily means funny’ started Bibble as he lashed us with his acid tongue.
‘It completely depends on the context – for example, ‘OMG Friends is soooooo funny’* means I actually LOL when Chandler says something really sarcastic**. Whereas if I say something like ‘I’m not being funny, but have you seen the state of her cellulite?’ then I’m just carrying out the necessary deed of pointing out someone else’s flaws. Not to their face obviously, I only want that the fact they disgust me to trickle through to them 3rd hand through our ‘squad’.
This reporter then mentioned to Bibble that we think TOWIE is unspeakably shite, to which he ran off and cried, and thus, terminated the interview.
We’re not being funny, but we think he’s a mard get.
*We would like to clarify that the opinion expressed by our interviewee is not the opinion of the Rochdale Herald, and anyone who thinks Friends is funny should be excluded from society, although we’re not being funny.
**People like Ryan wouldn’t know actual sarcasm if it twatted them round the chops.
