Brenda “Brenda” Williamson, a Rochdale woman shortlisted for the UK Curling team but ultimately dropped from the squad, today broke ranks and claimed that Curling and some other winter sports were not really sports at all.
At a specially convened press conference at The Nag’s Head, Williamson addressed a packed pub of reporters and some old bloke who has been sitting in his usual spot for years.
“It’s a joke. I can’t believe anyone was gullible enough to fall for it. I mean, the Luge!! Really?
“The only event where you can drop dead right at the start and still get a medal?”
She continued “Curling? Are you having a laugh? You really think all that fanning around with a £5.99 brush from B&Q has any effect? We only do it for the shits and giggles”
Ms Williamson, 39, of Brotherhood also had a pop at darts which she described as “for fat blokes what like beer”, Sailing which is “just for posh people what can afford boats and that” and finally Formula One on which subject she suggested that the FIA “give Nigel bloody Mansell my Renault Megane and see how many races he wins then”.
Ms Williamson assured us that she was in no way bitter about being dropped by Team GB and wishes them luck at Pyeongchang.
“Bastards.”
