After 2 years of unprecedented levels of worldwide idiocy, scientists have discovered that the parallel universe where weird shit happens is this one.
Popular theory states that there are an infinite number of universes with an infinite number of possibilities. But Scientists at the Large Hadron Collider have discovered all the really messed up stuff happens here.
Professor Nigel Colinson of CERN told the Herald: “Of all the universes we discovered in our black hole, the ones with insect overlords, the ones with Muppet planets and Haribo oceans, we still haven’t found another one where Donald Trump is President, Brexit actually happened or where the population is so mind-bendingly bonkers and self-destructive. Or one where Ed Sheeran is popular.”
“Sometimes when we switch the machine off at night we can hear them laughing at us. Muppet Bastards.”
