British farmers would just start rounding up household pets for meat in the event of the UK leaving the EU without a trade deal, a cabinet minister has suggested.
The Transport Secretary Chris Grayling made the remarks in response to claims that food prices could rocket in the event of a no-deal Brexit.
“If this happened,” he said “British Farmers would respond by stealing household pets from people’s gardens and slaughter them for meat.”
“There’s also some pretty nutritious organ meat available on the jobless and homeless poors you see wandering around city centres. We could make it work.”
The comments come amidst warnings from the supermarket industry that the UK leaving the EU in March 2019 without a framework for a future trade deal would be pretty bad for people who needed to eat food in order not to starve to death.
The Chairman of Sainsbury’s, David Tyler, said that a No-Deal Brexit could meant that all the food British retailers buy from the EU could be subject to a 22% tariff.
“You think the horsemeat scandal was bad, just wait until you’re hoping the supermarket has some gerbil or rat on the shelves so you don’t have to eat some Scottish smack addict’s liver” he continued.
The British Retail Consortium has said that the rise in tariffs would probably result in enormous rises in the price of fruit, vegetables, dairy products and meat
“It’ll be fine.” A spokesman for the National Farmer’s Union continued. “We still grow some cabbages and brussel sprouts and everybody loves those. Scurvy isn’t that bad, who needs toenails anyway.”
“British farmers are pretty resourceful lot. They’ll adapt if we fuck everything up for them. And if there’s no food, well. We can always eat each other.”
