Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State’s alleged contribution to the debate about how to pay for Brexit.
It’s believed that by putting a nice little twist on the new scheme of organ donation opt-out significant sums could be raised towards the cost of a hard Brexit.
The Rochdale Herald spoke to an individual claiming to work closely with a secretary of state for exclusive insight.
“Can we have your liver?” Ms S Hambles asked, “We all remember that classic scene from British life recorded by anthropologists in the early 1980’s. Well, we can revive the Thatcherite policy of funding new home builds by way of organ sales to pay for Brexit. Think how many customs houses we can build with a million kidneys?”
It’s understood the cost of exiting the European Union is rising fast with each passing day as the cliff edge looms. A way needs to be found for the working poor to contribute to the cost of what they so clearly stated they wanted.
“A hard Brexit was always the plan. The no deal is the perfect deal by way of turning the whole show into a tax haven to benefit people like Mr Murdoch. See how cleverly the right wing tabloids have gone from proclaiming that Brexit will instantly make everyone rich, to now banging a drum about how wonderful it’s going to be to spend billions of taxpayer’s money in order to have an excuse for slashing corporate tax rates?”
The new compulsory organ donation scheme is expected to be authorised by a slimmed down meeting of the cabinet in case that boring Hammond chap suggests the infrastructure needed to mass collect organs will outweigh the immediate cash benefit.
“Can we have your liver? Simply saying you’re still using it won’t get you out of it!”
