The people of Kensington & Chelsea, one of the richest boroughs in London, having elected their first Labour MP, have taken things one step further.
Welcome to The People’s Republic of Kensington.
The newly formed republic in fashionable West London boasts more private helicopters than the RAF and more privately owned boats than the Royal Navy. It also has more than its fair share of million pound houses and tacky gold plated cars scattered around its streets and mewses.
MP for Kensington, Tabitha Huxley-Earl-Chomlomely said, “People told me it would never work. Then I started collecting signatures to get rid of the Royal Family and declare a republic. This award is validation of my vision for Britain.
“Our residents are representative of the UK population as a whole. We have rich and poor. One man is so poor he eats potatoes instead of quinoa and has to drink shop bought coffee that is in no way bespoke.”
We asked Kensington resident Hugh St Lawrence-Jeffreys for his views. He told us “It’s great to win this award. When the Windsor’s left, the area became a proper peoples collective. My £4m pound house just feels nicer now knowing I’m in a People’s republic.”
Tristram Quincy-Adams-Stewart said, “The royals? Never met them. Too much of a step down for me.”
Merchant banker, and resident Roger Le Appeliot said,”This award has been a long time coming. After all, I’m pulling in 7 figures a year in banking just like the ordinary people and last week I snorted £20,000 of the peoples pension funds.”
The award ceremony, which celebrates the most ridiculous contradictions in the world of social enterprise is set for Monday at the local food bank or, Waitrose as it’s more commonly known.
