There are reports of loud and frenzied whooping sounds coming from the office of Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre this afternoon at the news Sadiq Khan has suggested a potential second Brexit referendum.
Although the Mayor of London was a little more vague when questioned again on the topic, which is in line with Labour’s current policy of ‘Don’t tell anyone what we really think about Brexit’, he definitely indicated he would be in favour of giving the great British public a second opinion on the biggest constitutional change Westminster has seen in decades.
“I’m standing outside the Daily Mail fortress in Kensington,” our London correspondent told us. “It’s possibly the most unlikely place for such a dubious rag to reside, and I can distinctly hear what sounds like a troop of mating baboons coming from the inner sanctum of the building each time the revolving door in the lobby spins round.”
It’s understood that being able to put the words, brexit, stop, muslim and enemy of the people together in one sentence is almost enough to end Mr Dacre with an ecstasy induced aneurysm.
“Paul Dacre will certainly be able to target the groups he most favours for dog whistle journalism. It’s like some sort of jackpot. All over the country angry people will be tutting and ranting at how the immigrant son of muslim immigrants who grew up in an elitist enclave of enforced multiculturalism is trying to rob the British people of democracy by suggesting the very same people actually have a say on the biggest change to their country since the invention of the baker’s dozen,”
ILondon Fire Brigade are on standby in case Mr Dacre spontaneously combusts and is unable to extinguish himself with his customary heavy dose of bile.
