The world’s biggest beer company, Belgium based Anheuser-Busch Inbev warned Monday that the drop in value of Sterling in the wake of the UK’s decision to leave the EU will inevitably lead to a sudden rise in beer prices.
“The UK is a net importer of barley and hops and most of the equipment used in brewing, as Sterling falls, it’s inevitable the cost of pint will rise” cautioned an AB Inbev spokesman.
News of the imminent rise was greeted with howls of anguish from beer drinkers across the UK.
However opinions differed as to the cause.
“This is exactly the sort of Brussels sponsored nonsense I have been warning about for decades,” said former UKIP leader and seven times unelected MP Nigel Farage.
“This would never have happened if back in the 1960s we had prevented local brewers from being taken over by big business, and then prevented the big businesses from selling out to foreign multinationals like Inbev,” he said.
Farage explained that work was progressing on UKIP’s soon-to-be-patented “Rose Tinted Time Machine” which would magically revert the UK to a country of paternalistic gentleman capitalists and grateful hard working, forelock tugging serfs quaffing foaming jugs of nut-brown ale at tuppence ha’penny a pint.
However he cautioned that they were experiencing a few teething problems, not least with the sliding doors of the shower cabinet.
“We can manage to get into the cabinet in the present time without any problem, but when we emerge nothing much has changed except the beer has got a bit soapy,” he complained.
“Clearly it won’t work properly until we have exited the EU, the single market and the customs union and our few remaining independent brewers are bought up for pennies by international combines owned by fat moustachioed Spanish speaking fascists based Carribean tax havens, he explained.
“We can only pray to saint Donald of Trumpton that it will be soon,” he added.
