The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows and viewable by all, causing distress to many.
It appears the authors of the document believe it to be a feasible way to balance both inward immigration politically and the needs of industry. It’s not clear if the authors took into account what becoming viewed as a xenophobic and nationalist country will do to outward migration from the UK.
However, the initial reactions to the paper from business leaders were so averse that civil servants thought it best to try and get the document out of sight before they staged a coup to topple the government.
A member of the hospitality staff providing refreshments at the private meeting between government and civil servants gave this account of what happened next,
“One of the business leaders, I’m talking a major employer here, took the document off some Brexiter MP and attempted to read it. But she recoiled instantly as if she had been handed a turd the moment she began to read. Apparently the resulting criticism of the proposals were so severe the government member concerned panicked and attempted to fling the paper out of a window overlooking a garden.”
Like a lot of policy emanating from Downing Street over the last year plus, this attempt to do something solid failed.
“They hoped it would land behind some shrubs and decompose I guess. But the outer window doesn’t open and the document hit the external window and dropped down between the windows out of reach.”
The staining on the window panes was severe and all efforts to retrieve the immigration policy document have so far failed.
“Everyone can see what’s on the paper now.” The insider stated. “Everyone can see it’s not something you’d want to touch with a barge pole. It really stinks.”
