Graduates of the world famous British University of Life expressed their outrage this morning after top Eurocrat tyrant Mickie “the barb” Barnier threatened them with further education.
“They are going to be stood at the blackboard with chalk in their fat, greasy fish and chip hands writing out lines about what the single market and customs union actually entail.” The Barb shouted bombastically from a podium in an upmarket conference venue nestling on the shores of Lake Lucerne.
It’s thought the unveiled threat was made in an attempt to browbeat stout British patriots back into slavish kowtowing to the whims of the unelected tyranny that is the superstate that is the EU.
“He can push off.” Michael “the dome” Barnard retorted. “I’m not having it. I only graduated from the university of life in 1972 and I’ve yet to finish playing the bloody tuition fees for that as it is. If some arrogant bloody German like Barnier there thinks he can force me into further education he’s got another thing coming.”
Commentators on the Brexit process do suspect “the dome” and his ilk are right.
Any attempt to explain how the EU actually functions and the benefit derived from membership of the club has so far failed to penetrate the slogan clouded skulls of Brexit supporters.
“I’m not working in one more European piñata factory. We don’t need them. They need us. Already we’re doing trade deals with Japan and Australia. The EU can get stuffed for all I care. I get paid in pounds. As soon as we’re out of the Eurozone it’ll be much quicker to count the pounds I carry about. So there. Make England great again.”
EU officials may perhaps consider not using phrases that require limited interpretation due to English not being their first language, or phrases that have any nuance whatsoever in the future.
Critical studies units are not offered at any of the University of Life campus operating in the United Kingdom.
