A senior Brexiter has demanded that all of York’s white roses should be repainted as classic red and white Tudor roses for the sake of national unity.
The call from the Lancastrian businessman comes as negotiations over the Brexit settlement with the EU appear to be going nowhere fast.
Some commentators suspect that is the entire strategy from the British team driving Brexit forward to the cliff edge, as it will give them the excuse needed to slash corporate tax rates under the guise of improving British competitiveness.
But the senior Leave supporter has a better idea of how to secure the best possible deal for Britain in any future trading relationship with the EU.
“Use her loaf.” He advised the Rochdale Herald’s regional correspondent. “Stop skriking. All of you. Stop pace egging about. Barnier’s not as green as he’s cabbage looking.”
The senior Brexiter goes on to suggest that if we ensure that every rose in every pub in England is an actual, proper Tudor rose then there’s a high chance of a better settlement with the EU.
Such a visible display of national identity unified as it’s always been can only do for the UK’s hand in negotiations what Ms May’s botched attempt to increase her parliamentary majority failed to do on June 8th.
Any suggestion that this article is merely an attempt to wind up credulous Brexit supporters is admitted here to see if they read far enough into the article.
Negotiations are expected to continue at the end of the month and even now David Davis is hard at work deciding which hour of the coming week’s negotiations he will spend in Brussels.
He’s also understood to be in search of a suitable way to continue distracting from the strong possibility he hasn’t the foggiest idea of what he is doing lest the tabloids turn against him.
