David Davis offered reassurance today to business leaders worried about customs arrangements post Brexit by declaring he would seek a pinky promise with Michel Barnier.
It’s felt that by offering such a time honoured and mature way to agree to future trading conditions then the worry felt by major employers and import/exporters in the UK will be reduced significantly. Hopefully to the point they don’t carry through the contingency plans most have drawn up to get out of dodge before Brexit.
“I admit it may appear the negotiations are going badly.” Mr Davis began his reassurance. “But anyone who thinks that doesn’t realise the sleight of hand required to out fox someone like myself so I don’t give away my true intentions and lose clear strategic advantages.”
Davis went on that he would be demanding a pinky promise “because I am a man of my word and if I promise Michel with my pinky that I can invent an entirely novel customs border to take over existing arrangements on April Fool’s Day 2019, than that’s what I will do. I’ve already got my best people working on what slogan to use to sell the idea. Anything else you hear in the press is just the rumour mill. Believe in me. Trust in me. I am your future. I am the way and the light.”
The EU have not responded to the pinky promise proposal yet, but have been heard to alternate between laughter at the tax revenues Brexit will being to the EU from relocating business, and swearing fits at the incompetence and complacency of the British team.
“Anyone would think the Brexit politicians representing the U.K. want the negotiations to fail so they can try and slash corporate tax rates under the pretence of competitiveness.”
However, no one seriously suspects that is the ultimate aim of Brexit, given the known humanitarian qualities of the big money men and right wing tabloids that have backed the agenda for so long.
