Climate change deniers took to social media today to decry the damage being done by solar panels to the sun, which they blame for sucking all the light out.
With the total eclipse of the sun due over North America today, exponents of the safety and security of fossil fuels believe it is vital to raise awareness of the harm being done, before the damage is too great.
“For two minutes and twenty seconds today the sun is going to black out like a broken light bulb.” Dr Nalddon Purmt stated, speaking on behalf of an advocacy organisation that represents traditional energy companies and seeks to bring science back into the climate change debate.
“How much worse does this need to get before people wake up and realise that if we allow the solar panel industry to keep growing at its current unsustainable rate soon there won’t be any sun left at all.”
It’s feared that if ‘libtard cuck snowflake greenies’, as Dr Nalddon calls them, are allowed to continue to savage the ‘safety and security’ of fossil fuel energy companies with ‘wanton disregard for the future of the solar system’ by the installation of solar panels across the world then it’s only a matter of time until we drain the sun completely.
“And don’t get me started on the Chinese!” Dr Purmt flared. “They’re building floating solar panels on the sea. Can you imagine what could happen if a big wave tipped one of those panel complexes over? All that sun pouring out at once into the ocean will instantly cook any marine life for a radius of miles. Solar panels are anything but renewable or safe.”
Furthermore, the expansion of solar power is the real culprit behind global warming, according the Doctor.
“All that glass reflecting heat back into the sky is responsible for several degrees of warming of the planet. It’s not harmless gases that we breathe in and out constantly that is the cause of rising sea levels. It’s the hotter atmosphere from solar power causing the sea to heat up and increase in size. It’s basic science.”
“You better strip your shirt off if you’re planning on watching this industrial vandalism of the sun today.” Dr Nalddon added. “It’s probably one of the last chances to get a suntan that you’re going to get. So be sure to take a good hard look at the sun too, you may not get the chance again.”
