The Brexit lobby has claimed the trillion tonne iceberg heading for the Atlantic from Antarctica is a challenge to British shipping interests to put up or shut up.
“This is just the tip of what Britain can expect with Brexit. British shipping needs to show the pluck and courage Drake showed the Aramada.” Lord Sterling of Speck-oo-lation affirmed.
“The EU acts like a sea anchor on British trade. It slows us down when our ships should be heading at full speed in all directions across the world with no thought of danger or consequence.”
Asked if he thought the hulls of British ships were strong enough to withstand a head on collision with the ginormous iceberg Lord Speck-oo-lation was upbeat.
“It’s little more than an ice cube. We’ll put it in a glass with some classic British gin, some cucumber and a bit of tonic water. Our brave seafarers will make short work of this piddling block of ice.”
Lord Sterling went on to state that any British ships feeling nervous about meeting the trillion tonne berg on the waves in the dark of the night clearly hadn’t been “engaging in enough rum, sodomy or the lash.”
Asked how he would personally handle the iceberg the Brexit cheerleader gave the following response,
“I’ve told you. A bloody great big g&t. I’ll be blind drunk by lunchtime and nothing will stop me. Head first you weak kneed land lubber. Just like we’re handling negotiations with the EU currently.”
So that will be in reality a hard stop and a shudder into a disorderly course of reverse?
