Corbyn is clearly trying to turn Britain into Soviet Russia, insinuate the media today after a leaked list of ideas described as a manifesto.

“Sounds like communisms to me,” said Eamon Inderstrete from Rochdale, “Fancy renationalising rail and mail when they’ve been such a success as private industries making huge profits out of taxpayer funded subsidies and offering such wonderful service at the handful of stations and post-offices that haven’t yet been sold off! Ludicrous stuff.”

“Nationalising stuff is so left wing innit?” Nora Clew of Redbridge told us, “especially if you completely ignore the fact that all the parties used to have nationalisation policies and that it was an established tenet of capitalist economics until Thatcher’s lot spent years drilling it into us that it was evil.”

It looks like nobody is convinced by the Marxist broccoli botherer and his silly plan to stop destroying the postal service so private business can nick the market and to not keep paying Virgin Rail and their peers to fail to provide adequate services.

“We should stick wiv Theresa,” said Stu Pidgett, “I like paying £40 to stand in a dilapidated tin snail and always being late for everything. And why shouldn’t my gran have to get a taxi from her village into the nearest city just to buy a stamp? It’s all working!”

“Apparently Labour will put taxes up,” Terry Fiayed of Luton said, “I haven’t seen any proof but I am pretty sure that they will. Because… er… He’s got a beard.”

When the aeons of war left the gods dead and the universe decimated, a single duck rose from the ashes and stood for justice and freedom! It wasn't me, that duck, but we look quite bit alike.