Rumours are spreading that CLiff Richards, who is not a nonce, is furious today after the BBC suggested that he had racked up unreasonable legal fees in suing the BBC for not ignoring him.
The completely innocent singer, who has spent years bawling about the BBC ignoring him, is suing the BBC for not ignoring when he was investigated in 2014 after accusations that he might not be a non-nonce came to light.
“We apologised at the time even though all we did was report that Cliff, who isn’t a nonce, was being investigated,” said a spokesbot for the Beeb, “and we even pointed out constantly that he had denied the charges. We know we’re going to lose because everybody hates the BBC, but £500,000 out of licence payers pockets? You’re having a giraffe, intcha?”
Lawyers for the singer, who is definitely not a nonce, apparently insisted that coverage had done great harm to the massively successful singer’s career.
“His career is in tatters,” a lawyer is allegedly reported to have probably said of the singer whose summer tour tickets are selling like hot cakes, “obviously the BBC needs to pay us- er, I mean him, lots of lovely compensation!”
Meanwhile Rich Clifford, the head of the Rochdale chapter of the Cliffs Nagels fan club, told us “The BBC is evil and was put on this earth by Satan himself to try and besmirch the good name of Saint Cliff of Richard. Obviously they wouldn’t report it if any other celebrity who was considered a national treasure for decades was accused and investigated for noncery, so this is pure evil victimisation.”
It is expected that the BBC will lose the case because they’re the BBC and will probably mess up up at the last minute but the Rochdale Herald is sure of one thing:
Cliff Richard is definitely not a nonce.
