The Last Night at the Proms, an event where ex public school toffs wave the Union Flag in celebration of a completely made up version of history, is being hijacked by cheap politics says Percival Johnson-Smythe Devereux Thatcher Jenkins the third.
“It is traditional to celebrate our victory over unarmed piccaninnies and wogs! To remember the great British achievement of taking over other people’s countries and teaching them how to be civilised!”
The British Empire was the name given to the practice of the state protecting various private companies who enslaved people, murdered them if they protested, and stole all their resources in order to get rich.
It was largely unknown to the people of Britain until the end of the 19th/ beginning of the 20th century when its decline was used as a jingoistic tool to get poor people to go and get killed for their country.
“Waving EU flags is just cheap politics,” insisted Johnson-Smythe Devereux Thatcher Jenkins, “unlike our tradition of childishly stamping our feet to Jingoistic jingles and waving the Union Jack!”
Derek Morecambe, a former Remain campaigner pointed out that;
“The musicians come from all over the world, and as such we think perhaps celebrating a union of nations instead of the memory of when we used to tie Indian mutineers over the mouths of cannons, burn villages, and rape Hottentots for fun might be a bit less cheap than the usual bollocks.”
A crowd funding campaign to buy Rochdale flags and give them out to patrons of posh event has so far raised 18p.
