The new Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, Damien Green, unveiled the plans earlier today in parliament.

The policy, which will see families currently claiming out of work benefits moved into special ‘career houses’ was the brain child of Damien Green’s predecessor.

No, not curer of the gays Stephen Crabb, who held the role for four and half hours. It was in fact the whispering death, Iain Duncan Smith, better known as IDS or the nefarious psychopathic bastard.
In an interview on LBC, Mr. Smith’s initiative was challenged when it was compared to Victorian era work houses. “It’s absolutely not the same thing” he quietly rasped into the mic. “And I resent the insinuation. These aren’t work houses, they’re career houses. Families will work a mere nine or ten hours a day, six days a week on the production line in exchange for free board and two square meals a day”.

After further investigation we discovered that the meals are actually rectangular as square Ryvitas don’t exist.

The first trial will be carried out at the old Pontins site in North Wales, as the accommodation was deemed perfect.