With the annual two inches of snow set to cause havoc across the country again experts have advised people to stop whining and get used to the conditions. 

Rochdale Community University’s Department of Scrapping and Pagga warns that with most of the people in charge these days being the sort of intolerant dicks you would have decked 10 years ago, and those dicks having weapons of mass destruction it means a nuclear winter may be on the cards. 

Department Head Colin Nigelsson has this to say; 

“People continue to bang on about a little bit of snow, but we think you should be considering it acclimatisation. After your masters obliterate the world it’s going to get a tad more wintry and loads more miserable. Radioactive snow gives you Leukemia and makes trains late.”

So more bad news for Southern Rail commuters then.

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High mistress of the underworld, destroyer of souls, collector of small pottery cats. Also one of the country's premier frock enthusiasts.