Horoscopes

Here are this week's horoscopes. Or are they next week's? Meh. It's all nonsense anyway... Aries Sometimes you might think people are out to get you. They are, you are being stalked and should be very,...

Aries - The Dead Postman Things are looking up for you this week. You break your neck in a car crash on Wednesday. You will be in traction for months. Your lucky thing is the ceiling. Taurus...

Aries Beware people driving silver Vauxhaul Vectras early in the week - they mean you harm and will go out of their way to inflict serious injuries upon your person. Strike first if you can...

Aries ? A visit to the dentist will end in both oral and mental discomfort when you wake up early from the completely unnecessary anaesthetic to find him fondling you. The dentist will put this...