Everybody in the UK has collectively asked if they really, really, really have to go out now that they’ve gone through the fun bit of getting ready.
People around the country who are about to go to dreadful pubs and horrible nightclubs are all secretly asking themselves if it would be okay for them to bail out at the last minute to stay in and watch a couple of episodes of Peaky Blinders and go to bed early.
“I honestly don’t know why I’m bothering.” Dave Bloke from Milnrow told The Rochdale Herald. “It’s going to be rubbish, you can’t get to the bar to get a drink because every man and his dog is out.”
“I had a couple of beers at five o’clock and I already have the very beginnings of a headache. What the fuck am I doing going out. I genuinely could just treat tonight like any other Sunday and catch up on a box set and go to bed at 9pm.”
“If I’m really honest with myself that’s what I want.”
Barbara Dickinson, from Rochdale, added: “Getting ready to go out was quite nice. I had a had a hot bath, got all chilled out did my makeup and now I look great.”
“It seems a shame to go out and get shitfaced now. Why are we going out again?”
“Do we really, really, really have to go out? Can’t we just stay in and watch the fireworks on the telly tomorrow?”
Interesting fact; Christmas only became a public holiday in Scotland in 1958.
