Theresa May is expected to say very little about British Gas and its 12.5% energy bill price hike today because she’s busy enjoying an expensive European holiday and doesn’t yet have a slogan to say about it.
The Prime Minister tends to go into panic mode whenever anything scary happens anyway and hide in the Downing Street toilet until someone comes up with a catch phrase that fails to encompass the situation. Rumours suggest she’s currently searching for a suitable WC to take shelter in somewhere in the Swiss Alps.
What could be scarier than millions of ageing Brexit backers being hit with a massive energy bill increase right when May’s taking enough heat trying to turn her policy fantasies into reality? And especially when she’s previously mentioned an energy price cap but now doesn’t really want to talk about it again in case she has to do something.
A spokesman for Downing Street issued the following statement,
“She’s doesn’t care about you? When will you get it through your thick heads and leave her alone to do her job of ruining the country for the profit of men like Rupert Murdoch? It’s just so tacky to be moaning about costs of living. Next you’ll be talking about how you don’t want to decide between eating or heating your home?”
It’s thought that is not going to be a problem for Ms May as she lives in a place paid for by the public purse and she wouldn’t actually know what a gas bill was even if it bite her on the backside.
The aide later issued a clarification saying that energy bills aren’t dangerous, don’t bite and please can we talk about Jeremy Corbyn and tuition fee back pedalling again instead?
