During the snap election called by Theresa May one controversial proposal to emerge from the Tory manifesto was the abolishment of the fox-hunting ban.
Protestors almost wore their fingers to the bone in opposition to the pledge, typing out their defiance on social media. Unexpectedly, it became clear that people in the UK are opposed to the cowardly murder of innocent animals for fun, like a brooding serial killer.
The Rochdale Herald was informed today that this may have been buffoonery of the highest order a Tory think-tank has suggested. The group investigated the claims from some quarters of the public that ripping a small animal to pieces was wrong, when they found something extraordinary. A spokesperson for the researchers stated; “At first, we were shocked that people were against animal abuse, then we looked into it more. It turns out that foxes are not animals at all, they are just furry scarves with legs and eyes”.
The revelation has caused a torrent of anger to be aimed at the group leader, Lord Mountbottom. The outpouring of rage argues against this scientific breakthrough, that foxes ARE, in fact, animals and that they have souls.
Lord Mountbottom told the Herald, “I don’t know what the fuss is about. Mummy had a scarf just like a fox and not once did she need to feed it”. The think-tank are satisfied that UK citizens will come to accept in time that foxes are not living creatures and are now focussing on their next project; to prove that a poor family of four can live in just one room.
