There’s bare girl jobs and mandem jobs, you feel me?
“When’d all y’all start getting so disrespectful?” said Theresa May yesterday.
“Maybe it was that Lord Buckethead fool. I mean, Lord of the Bucket indeed. If he’s a Lord, then I’m the Empress of the Bucket. Look at my face, do I look like I haven’t just done a bucket? No. Exactly.”
Sucking her teeth, she continued:
“Yoooooo, I mean like FUCK Corbyn, you feel me? Marching all round Glasto like he’s all that, when wasteman didn’t even sip more than a couple of ciders. Meanwhile, I was like blazing the whole of Kensington, you get me?”
“I’m sick of all these fools disrespecting me, just because they don’t have the paper. Well, I’m all about the paper. Theresa gots the sugar that you neeeeed sister. I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast, but I flew Arlene on the RAF just to get some votes.”
“So you feel me, or what? Don’t come up all in my face disrespecting me just because I happen to looks like some skinny ass white bitch. You come up here, you best be packing, else I will cut you faster than a social care programme, bi-atch.”
It is thought that Theresa May is possibly suffering from some kind of delusional episode brought on by a schizoid embolism. She continues to claim to be the Prime Minster, or as she now calls it “Minister that is Prime.”
Our actual Prime Minister, Jeremy Corbyn, peace be upon him, was unavailable for comment.
