Theresa May spent the afternoon hand in hand with Arlene Foster and the rest of the Democratic Unionist Party skipping through Hyde park stopping only to smell the flowers.
“It was a beautiful sight. It’s the first time a smile has cracked through the hardened clay like face of Mrs May in months.” Said a Downing Street aide.
It comes after the formal agreement of the Conservative party to form a government with the Northern Irish Democratic Unionists.
“I get to remain as Prime Minister and it only cost me a billion pounds! That’s a damn good deal, I’d have done much more than a billion if they had asked. Hell, I’d pull the gold fillings out my nan’s teeth if that’s what is necessary to keep the job” said the Ms May.
We asked the Prime Minister where the money would be coming from since the nation is currently in its 7th year of austerity.
“Of course we have the money.” Said the PM
“Amber Rudd found the magic money tree. It’s deep in the forest of state pensions and public sector funding. Myself and Arlene went to it today and sealed the deal by carving our names into it.”
