The Brexit Party has finally unveiled their much anticipated election manifesto ahead of the EU elections. 

To much fanfare the document has been revealed to be a copy of a Wetherspoon’s lunch menu with both the Thai Green Curry and the Lamb Roghan Josh angrily scribbled out with crayon.

Other groundbreaking policies featured in the manifesto include a half finished dot to dot puzzle of a boat full of refugees and a failed attempt at colouring inside the lines of a puppy.

The puppy is now in the care of the RSPCA.

A spokesman for the Brexit Party told the Rochdale Herald in all caps that “ITS TIME TO TAKE ARE COUNTRY BAK. NO MORE FOREIGN FOOD IN PUBS. ENGLISH FOOD FOR ENGLISH PEOPLE LIKE PIZZA. DOWN WITH THE EU UP WITH FARAG (sic).”

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.