Viewers of a new TV drama series have spoken of their shock at discovering that it didn’t involve paedophillia at any point.

Departure, a new 8 part drama series that follows the lives of a group of people working for an airline began on Sunday night.

One viewer, Bill Board said, “You just know that at least one character will be a predatory paedophile in any TV drama. When it started with that woman who was a prostitute I thought he we are, she’s a prostitute because of sex abuse she endured as a child at the hands of her father. But it turned out that she just really liked doing cocaine and couldn’t afford it on her airline wages.”

Stan Still said, “I know from years of watching things like Happy Valley that the bloke with the dodgy glasses hanging outside a school is some sort of predatory paedophile. There’s all the tension of wondering if he’s going to snap and abduct a child for his own sexual gratification or if he’s just filling the spank bank up. Turned it it was just a divorced bloke picking his estranged son and daughter up from school.”

Other viewers were convinced that there must be some passenger who would be going abroad to have sex with children. Many were disappointed when a man got on the plane and sat next to a lone child only to see the man get drunk, pinch a stewardess on the backside and attempt to open the exit whilst at 30,000 feet.

Bill told us, “There was that bloke who the camera zoomed in on who only had condoms and lube in his hand luggage and was on the way to Thailand. It turned out he was going to smuggle Heroin back to the country.”

Viewers were further left in shock at the story of 5 year old Nathan. Viewers saw Nathan wandering round the airport trying to find his parents when he was approached by a friendly security guard. Stan Still told us, “At that point I was thinking, this is it. He’s going to get abducted onto a flight with some international sex abusers who will keep him locked in a dungeon for several weeks and torture him then kill him and hide the body on a golf course or something. It was a bit disappointing when the security guard radioed to have an announcement put onto the tannoy and the boy’s parents were located.”

It’s understood that the rest of the series will feature a lack of paedophiles as well. This is seen as revolutionary by many in the TV industry. One told us it was like in 2011 when somebody tried to make a documentary that wasn’t about Nazi’s.

 

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Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.