If you want a new sofa, pay attention, because this could save you literally some pounds.

In an exclusive scoop, The Rochdale Herald can reveal that popular furniture supplier DFS may be having a sale at some point in the near future. But you’ll have to be quick about it, as by the time you’re reading this, it could already be happening! Or it could have happened, and they could be planning the next one! You have to move fast if you want to be comfortable when you sitting down!

DFS, which we are told stands for Direct Furnishing Supplies, and not as we thought, Donnie’s F’ing Sofas, traces its origins back to 1969 – ooh-err missus!!

Anyway, our story starts with Northern Upholstery, so you see it is a proper Northern story for a proper Northern satirical paper and I’m a actual Northerner so you can have it. Anyway, lad that ran that, bought t’other lads Darley Dale based Direct Furnishing Supplies and created something more massive than th’arses what sit on its sofas.

But how did it become so popular? Well that’s the sale news I bring to you my friends in this outright scoop.

They, occasionally, have a sale. Just occasionally. To shift stock. That’s often on a zero finance deal – you won’t get that at Shite House let me tell you.

And there could be one any minute and you can guarantee it will be ENDING SOON!

The Herald can also reveal that we have it on good authority that David Davis, Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, and Liam Fox all have sofas from DFS that they bought at full price.