The readership of Britain’s newspapers say they’re confused that the papers aren’t being more assertive in calling for tax reform.
Right wing press connoisseur, Cliff Edge told us, “Usually my newspaper starts mobilising a mass campaign against the Government the second there’s any indication the UK foreign aide budget may be increased. But so far nothing really about tax avoidance schemes.
There was a bit about Lewis Hamilton and Bono but I already know they’re pricks. I was expecting more vehement calls for a change to the tax system to make avoiding tax much more difficult.”
The bafflement isn’t restricted to right wing newspaper readers. Limp-wristed lefty, Mike Rotch said, “My papers are always saying how we need to pay more tax to improve wealth distribution and pay for essential services. Taxation is an important tool to lift people from poverty.
“But all they’ve done so far is say the Queen is a prick and has dodgy investments. It’s alright but they’re just telling us this in the hope we don’t demand tax reform.”
A spokesman for popular lefty newspaper, The Thrush told The Herald, “We absolutely believe that taxpayers money should be used to pay for essential services. We just don’t believe that our tax money is the way to achieve that. You can’t buy yachts if you pay tax.”
Some politicians have become involved though. Labour MP, Peter File told us, “We absolutely must discuss this publicly and at great length. In fact, the next 9 months would be handy as I’m due to go on trial for raping a journalist in March so could do with something to deflect attention from that.”
Conservative MP, Ivor Biggun laughed, “This just goes to show that there is one rule for the rich and one rule for everyone else. Did you know that there’s some suckers out there paying more than 1% tax? My billions would be millions if I did that.”
Media expert, Dr Frederick Seddon told us, “Obviously, there’s a lot going on right now that newspapers are reporting. The sex scandal, shootings in America, Brexit and Trump mean newspapers don’t have the resources to devote to calling for tax reform. It’s surprising that they don’t have the resources though as they all seem to save so much money on tax. Most are registered in Bermuda or the Cayman Islands. Even the ones on the left.”
The Herald would like to take this opportunity to confirm that it isn’t registered on the Isle of Man for tax purposes. It’s because we really love motorcycle racing.