It has been announced that as of 2019, the 29th of March will become known as ‘May Day’ in recognition of the glorious achievements of the Prime Minister in guiding the nation to separation from the Frogs, Wops and Huns.
Government official Norbert Danbacon said “It is clear the nation owes a massive debt to Mrs May for wimping out and handing over the cash to cover our massive debt to the EU. As such, the date of our emancipation will henceforth be known as May Day and will be a Bank Holiday, assuming we have any banks left as they scramble madly for office space in Düsseldorf.”
We queried whether this might not lead to confusion with the existing May Day holiday and Mr Danbacon explained “The existing May Day Bank Holiday will be abolished as it celebrates workers rights or some similar Commie nonsense. It is not like once we have left Europe there will be any workers rights anyway.
“We do understand that a May Day in March might on the surface appear doomed to complete and ignominious failure, but people said that about Brexit itself and look how well that’s going.
“We considered other names but ‘Leave Day’ was rejected as people might think they had to use leave to celebrate it and ‘Complete Fucking Fiasco Day’ will be our new name for Christmas Day as that already describes the festive ordeal in most British households and with no money for presents post-Brexit, that will count double.
“Plus it wont upset the muslims so much.”
