The Government quickly moved to exempt itself from the report released yesterday which found major inequalities on racial grounds in UK organisations. Speaking without coughing her guts up for once, Prime Minister Teresa ‘Honky’ May said.
“We in Whitehall are convinced that we are whiter than white in terms of discrimination. We stand for all that is fair in these dark times. In fact some of my best MPs are black or Asian including…. er… what’s his name… er … Bongo Afolami… and er…. oh… that little brown chap that took over from William Hague. We are very much the white knights whereas our opponents simply seek to blacken our reputation. We will shortly be issuing a nice White Paper on the matter.’
Opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn was scathing “Of course the Tories are racist. They routinely non-specific colour list and non-specific colour ball minority candidates and Theresa May is just trying to non-specific colour wash the situation. Racism is the elephant in the room. And that elephant could be African or Asian.”
UKIP leader Nigel Insertyournamehere was swift to point out the total lack of bias in his party. “UKIP is proud to say we have an exactly equal number of black and white MPs. Race is therefore demonstrably no barrier to becoming a UKIP MP. The barrier is more representing UKIP, to be honest.”
The Scottish Nationalists were unavailable for comment having all been hospitalised with sunstroke following a ten minute sunny spell outside the Scottish Assembly yesterday.
A dissenting voice on whether Parliament was institutionally racist came from a man with a large black rod.
