‘Any Old Rope Will Do’, a rope and string supplier from Dagenham, is under threat of legal action today after refusing to sell anymore rope to the Conservative party, stating they have enough.
The Rochdale Herald sent our political correspondent rushing down from their Party conference to find out more,
“My family has been selling rope in these parts since 1883,” Mr Russ Hemp explained, “we used to be focused on maritime sales but since the end of the age of sail, we’ve been supplying to political parties mostly. They all shop with us. Some private yacht owners with pension pot troubles come in now and then too.”
It appears since June 8th one party in particular has been ordering more than usual.
“The ones in government are always the biggest buyers, once they’ve been around long enough. Although opposition party leaders sometimes make surprise, bulk orders. Any UKIP leader means a real spike by and large.”
When asked why he has suddenly decided to stop selling to the Conservatives, and actually risk prosecution under the discrimination act, Mr Hemp responded,
“It’s not fair. The other bunch are promising milk and honey. I’ve got to have a large stockpile ready just in case they get in sometime in the next year and can’t deliver on their promises.
The cons have bought more than enough, and they’re clearly using it and will have rope to return.
Secondhand rope doesn’t resale easily. If you supply to the political parties you can’t sell just any old rope. That’s their game.”
