The election of the eleventh UKIP leader in the last calendar year has whipped the country into a frenzy of anticipation as it means there are now only three UKIP leaders till Christmas.
Stores across the land are already putting out some Christmas stock, generally patterned in the purple and yellow UKIP favour and now with a new logo that looks very similar to the premier league one.
The new leader, Mr Henry Bolton, is a relative unknown in British politics, but is certain to see his star twinkle brightly, now he’s running the policy think tank that feeds ideas straight into the UK’s governing Conservative Party.
An aide to Mr Bolton discussed the win and the countdown to Dec 25th.
“It was an incredibly tense campaign,” Mrs Mai Tracis stated “It was incredibly hard to keep Bolton out of the media spotlight, so as not to trigger shops to set out the Xmas stalls too early.
“But we managed it by employing an incredibly well trained gorilla. It stuck with Henry day in and out and kept its giant palm pressed over Bolton’s mouth so he would not accidentally say something premature like ‘it’s a beginning to look a little bit like christmas’.”
It’s believed Mr Bolton will be putting forward a vision for Britain that will cover October and take the country up to November. At this point he will resign after punching a cocker spaniel in the nuts. This will trigger the penultimate UKIP leader for 2017.
“He’ll mostly be talking just about pot plants, trying not to mention holly, and the best way to train a puppy with a stick, but not a reindeer. That will be the job of the UKIP leader for December.”
Ms May is said to have already phoned Mr Bolton and requested a full list of his October policies and asked that he leaves a note for November telling them it’s still too early to be talking about Christmas.
