Organisers of a widely publicised public party found themselves faced with a giant cleaning bill this morning after owners of the venue they partied in discovered a massive pile of elephant dung had been left behind.
It’s understood the cost of removing the dung will run into many billions of pounds merely because of the sheer size and scale of it.
“It’s a mountain,” Mr B Affled, venue manager, stated, “It goes to the ceiling,”
There is also increased concern that the elephant, or elephants, responsible for dropping the dung may still be in the building as muffled trumpeting sounds can be heard.
“To be honest, between you and me, I expected to find unicorn dung in the room after that mob cleared out. Not that most of them aren’t nice people, well, some leave raging anti-Semitic comments on any Facebook page to do with politics. But they’re a minority. Some also get as angry as a kipper if you so much as question any of their cult leader’s ideas, but the many are lovely, it’s only the few that are a problem,”
Enquiries about how the party organisers plan to fund the clean up operation have so far only been met with vague notions of closing stable doors after some horse called Sterling has bolted.
“I genuinely expected to find unicorn dung and not elephant,” Mr Affled added, “Jobs unicorn especially. Apparently this crowd think they’re going to capture something called a single market unicorn and grind it’s horn into powder to make a magic potion that creates jobs after Brexit?
“Beats me how they intend to do that, what with the rest of the world preferring to trade within the largest single trading bloc on earth and not some little island nation whose leaders leave dung mountains just lying about.
“Wait did you hear that? That trumpeting sound? I suggest we get out of here before the entire heap comes tumbling down!”
