God Almighty has reportedly pissed his pants laughing after sending a biblical flood to the most homophobic state in America in response to Donald Trump signing an executive order banning trans-sexuals from the United States Military.

“It has been fucking raaaaaiiiiiinnnninnnngg in Texas” a Baptist minister told The Rochdale Herald. “It’s almost like God is trying to tell us something.”

Texas, which is famous for being in the bible-belt and being the place on Earth where more homosexual pornography is watched per capita than anywhere else on the planet, is currently underwater.

“I just don’t get it. We voted against gay marriage, voted for Donald Trump and cheered when Trump signed that memo banning trans folk from the military and then it started raining.”

“I think God is sending us mixed messages. If I hadn’t read the bible I’d have thought he was trying to tell us not to discriminate against people for their gender identity or their sexual orientation, but that can’t be right. Can it?”

God, who is known for his sense of humour told us through a ouija board.

“Comedy, as you know is all about timing. That orange buffoon signed a memo this morning banning trans people from the military so I sent him a biblical storm named after Harvey Milk. Bazinga.”

Harvey Milk was the first openly gay elected politician in California and was responsible for passing stringent gay rights ordinance in San Francisco in the late 70’s.

He has been in charge of smiting homophobes in the United States since his assassination in 1978.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.