One of the most quintessentially British place names is under attack by right-wing activists Britain First for not sounding properly British.

Mornington Crescent has been a feature of London since the 1820s, and has been synonymous with the British sense of humour since lending its name to the game played on Radio 4’s “I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue” since 1978.

But that’s not good enough for Britain First, apparently, who made the following demand regarding the iconic London location.

“We don’t want no crescents in our place names,” Britain First leader Paul Golding told the Rochdale Herald. “They’re a Muslamic symbol, and there’s no place for Muslamic names and symbols in Britain. Britain has been white since the Roman civilisation.”

The fact that the name has been present since long before any serious Muslim migration to these shores appears to cut no ice.

“If they want to have religious symbol in the name, they should rename it Mornington Cross, a proper Christian symbol, much more British,” Golding said.

When it was pointed out that the street was so named because it was actually a crescent in shape, Golding went berserk.

“It’s what? It’s them Muslamics taking over! I told you, I told you! We’ve got to knock it down and rebuild it in the shape of a cross! Make Britain proper British again!” he screamed.

The only way to calm him down was with some classic British comedy, so we put on the radio and listened to “I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue”. Things were going well until the presenter announced, you’ve guessed it, Mornington Crescent, whereupon Golding picked up the set and hurled it against the wall shattering it.

At this point I just shook my head and left. All I can say is, I’m sorry he hasn’t a clue.