Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean Spicer’s replacement as press secretary.
The resignation of Sean Spicer appears to be a direct result of OJ Simpson being released on parole and becoming available for high profile employment once again.
A White House insider still employed by President Trump gave an exclusive interview to the Herald’s ‘Bears Pooing In Woods’ correspondent.
“Donald Trump always wanted OJ Simpson for the role of press secretary. It was always a shame, a great great shame to the President that OJ was otherwise employed when Trump assumed office.”
It’s believed Spicer was pressured to leap before he was pushed in order to make room for The Juice.
No details of what settlement has been offered, but it’s safe to assume he’ll want to keep the secrets he holds from his time in the White House as close to his chest as a bullet proof vest.
“Simpson brings other skills to the White House too. His expertise in running and driving ahead of law enforcement, his ability to hire good, just the greatest lawyers and the all important training he can provide on how to pass years in the big house will be invaluable to Donald.”
The Juice is to take up the post as soon as the weekend and is expected to punch harder at the fake news stooges than Spicer ever did.
Eyebrows have been raised though at the fact that OJ will need to travel to Moscow this evening for a job interview before starting work on the weekend, but that has been dismissed by the White House as a necessary evil, just a formality, and nothing to report about and if you do you’re just sick.
